


No Homo? No Homo.

by Literally_No_One_Cares



Series: Birdflash One-Shots [3]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Birdflash - Freeform, M/M, No Homo, nah bruh full homo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-03-31 20:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3992323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Literally_No_One_Cares/pseuds/Literally_No_One_Cares
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Artemis thinks that Wally and Robin act a little closer than platonic best friends should. But they assure her that it's perfectly fine as long as they say no homo first.</p>
<p>(Or, Artemis totally ships it and it pisses her off that they act so couple-y without actually being a couple.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Homo? No Homo.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head for days (weeks, really). I just don't get the time to write like I want to...and I'm totally ignoring my other series and both my multichapter fics to write one shots. Oops. Hope you don't mind a bunch of dialogue (although maybe it's a normal amount of dialogue and I'm the one who thinks it's a lot, which is totally possible).

When the door to Robin's room opened, he knew there was only one person it could be, since he was the only one who knew the code to get in. Wally barely gave him any time to move over before he flopped down next to the Boy Wonder and wriggled his way into the covers. Robin was used to it by now, he even smiled a little bit, so he reached up to turn off the light and rolled over.

"Did you have a bad dream or did you just need to cuddle?" Dick asked in a soft whisper as Wally readjusted them into a spooning position (Wally was always the big spoon). He would never admit it, but he had nightmares too.

"Both? I dreamed that we were going to get hurt but then when I woke up I definitely needed cuddles," Wally yawned, pressing his forehead into the back of Dick's neck.

"No homo?" Robin said, almost automatically. It had been what he said the first time he found Wally in his bed, and from there it had become habit.

"No homo," Wally replied with a nod. Seconds later, he was snoring in the way that Dick found kind of adorable and very much Wally-ish.

* * *

The next morning when they stumbled out of Dick's room together, neither of them had thought anything of it, but Artemis sure had. She hadn't hidden her confusion very well at the indication of them _clearly_ having slept in the same bed. The boys didn't understand at all; what was wrong with best bros sharing a bed once in awhile? Conner had stuck up for them, in a weird Conner sort of way, by saying that they did it all the time--he knew because hello? Super hearing?--and their usual closeness would indicate nothing different. M'gann proclaimed (rather loudly) that she found it adorable, and Artemis needn't seem so shocked. Kaldur had remained pretty indifferent, saying that whether Wally and Robin slept in the same bed or not was their business.

Artemis couldn't believe it. Could none of them see the big, gay elephant in the room? Most people only shared a bed if they were dating. Granted, Robin and Kid Idiot weren't most people, but it was still weird. There had to be something going on between them; it was the only explanation that made sense. They were already way closer than normal best friends, and the sexual tension was almost palpable, which meant that they probably hadn't done it yet. But they were obviously sleeping in the same bed, and that was a start.

A few days went by, and she'd almost forgotten about it, until she walked into the lounge to watch TV and found them dominating the couch, snuggled up close in a pretty suggestive position. Wally was sprawled out on the couch, legs splayed apart with Robin laying between them. The younger boy's head was on the redhead's chest, and the way Wally clung to him just screamed 'boyfriends.' How was she the only one who could see it?

"You've got to be kidding me," she muttered, taking a seat and shaking her head.

"Something wrong, Artie?" Wally asked sleepily. His hand moved to pet Robin's hair absentmindedly.

"How can you to do _that_ and just be friends?" She gestured to their current position with an agitated huff.

The boys looked at each other and laughed. "What's so weird about two dudes cuddling? Girls do it all the time," Robin pointed out.

"That's different!" Artemis snapped.

"How?" they asked together.

"It just is," she insisted, then stood and stormed off.

They liked each other. They so did. Artemis was determined to prove it, somehow. There was no way they could be as close as they were and still be so frustratingly straight, it just wasn't possible. They were just afraid of being ridiculed or something. She had to make the dorks see they were in love. She had to.

* * *

It was Wally's idea to go, and since the rest of the team had agreed so quickly, the young heroes had decided to go to the mall together. A day of shopping and greasy food court food would be good for them, and it was well deserved. The League had been working them to bone, on missions, during training, and one on one patrols with their individual mentors. M'gann had jumped at the idea, and even Artemis was excited. Kaldur was not familiar with this 'mall,' and Conner had very limited knowledge on the concept.

About twenty minutes into their trip, Kon-El wandered into Hot Topic and refused to leave. Everything there was so dark and angry; he felt right at home. M'gann and Kaldur reluctantly agreed to stay with him and allow the others to go on, insisting that they would get him to leave eventually. Wally, Robin, and Artemis left them to their own devices in the cluster of teenage angst, ambling toward American Eagle instead. Everything was fine, until Wally had reached out and grabbed Robin's hand.

"What the heck, Baywatch?" Artemis grumbled, pointing at their interlaced fingers.

"It fine, Artemis. Right Robin? No homo," Wally dismissed.

Robin nodded. "No homo. Just bros holding hands. Nothing weird about that," he agreed. Artemis tugged at her hair.

"So you two actually think that if you say no homo first that it makes it not gay?" she asked, exasperated.

"That's sort of the point," Wally chuckled. "Dude, those jeans would look so good on you." The redhead gestured to a pair of black skinny jeans hanging near them.

"Ok, so what about that? Don't you think that the way you said that was just a little weird?" she pointed out.

"She's got a point, dude," Robin mumbled. Wally seriously sounded like a girl, and that was just weird.

Wally turned a few variations of red, then pulled Robin (and the jeans) to the fitting rooms, away from Artemis. She shook her head, watching as he shoved the Boy Wonder into a tiny room and locked the door behind them. Robin's khakis were soon hanging over the door, and the archer saw his shoes shoved to opposite sides on the floor. She rolled her eyes as she heard Robin struggle, and Wally telling him what to do...actually, that was sort of cute. _They really would make a good couple_ , the blonde thought to herself, pushing down an amused chuckle as Wally shoved Robin out of the fitting room, now wearing the jeans.

"Ok, you've proved your point," Robin groaned. "I'll buy the stupid jeans if it makes you happy."

"Nothing would make me happier," he crooned.

* * *

The next time it happened (and by it, Artemis meant them acting like boyfriends but denying everything), she decided not to say anything. It was fairly early in the morning, and the team had flocked to the kitchen in search of food. It wasn't unusual to find Wally there first with something already cooked, and that morning was no exception. When Artemis got there, there was a stack of pancakes in the middle of the table and the speedster was wearing a thin coat of flour. Robin bore matching hand prints (most of them on his arms but there were two on his butt) and had the snowy substance all throughout his hair, giving it a grey color. Artemis shook her head, but didn't say a word.

She was pretty proud of herself for not saying anything, especially when Kid Flash fed his food to Robin. He scooped up some of his own pancake and brought it to his best friend's lips, and Robin gladly accepted it. Artemis gaped at them for a moment, but quickly closed her mouth. Her heart warmed at the sight; the looks exchanged between the boys were absolutely adorable. She continued to hold her tongue even when Robin used his napkin to get syrup off of the corner of Wally's mouth.

After that, Artemis began to notice more little touches and expressions more often. A quick pat on the back during training, followed by a lopsided grin; a look of panic when one or the other was in danger; every once in awhile, Wally would fix Robin's hair or pick at some invisible piece of lint on his clothes. And Robin was wearing the jeans. He wore them a lot, in fact. The first few times, Wally had commented on them (' _Wow Rob, those look good on you._ ' ' _See, Robin? I told they looked good._ '' _Dude, you were, like,_ made _for skinny jeans...No homo._ '), but he eventually contented himself with very obviously raking his eyes over Robin's ass without a word. Each time, M'gann got a really weird look on her face, although Artemis never asked her why.

* * *

There were lots of things Artemis didn't see. When Wally and Dick were alone together, they were much more touchy-feely. At Mount Justice, they shared a bed more often than they didn't, and they always dominated the couch together. Wally spent many nights at Wayne Manor, playing video games and driving Alfred crazy (mostly because he knew it made Dick laugh, and he loved to hear Dick laugh). There had even been one occasion where Dick requested (demanded) a high-speed piggyback ride around the grounds, and Wally just couldn't say no. Of course, no one really could say no to those puppy dog eyes... _those big, blue, beautiful eyes_...

At first, when the touches stopped being as innocent as they once were, Dick opted to just ignore it. It wasn't a big deal. So what if Wally held him just a little closer at night? So maybe he had whispered in his ear once or twice before falling asleep; it wasn't a thing (Robin chanted that to himself over and over). And if it was a thing, he'd wait for Wally to do something about it. When it hit him that _holy shit, Artemis was right_ , he didn't know what to think. Somehow, he started thinking about Wally's freckles, and no amount of 'no homo's could fix it now. He liked Wally.

Ok, maybe it still wasn't a big deal. He had sort of always liked the redhead, so just because he figured it out didn't mean that it had to change anything. It could still turn out asterous, if he didn't screw everything up. If he was lucky, Wally wouldn't be grossed out when he told him, and they could stay friends. If he was super lucky, they might actually try going out. There _was_ the incident with the flour in the kitchen--Wally had grabbed Dick's ass without even blinking--which could be a good sign. Either way, there were too many if's and could's for Dick's liking.

* * *

Like clockwork, Wally climbed into Dick's bed that night. The redhead sighed contentedly, nuzzling the back of the younger boy's neck with nose. Dick squirmed against him, though Wally couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not. He almost thought that Robin was already asleep, but he eventually turned over and faced Wally.

"You know, Artemis was right," Dick murmured. "We do act a little too close sometimes."

"Dude, does that have to be a bad thing? We can be _super_ best friends," Wally suggested.

"That is literally the worst pun I have ever heard. Bro, We could totally be a couple," the acrobat countered, following it with a muttered, "No homo."

"Nah, Dick, I agree. We could be a couple. Full homo," the redhead chuckled softly. "That is, if you want to, Boy Wonderful."

He blinked. Wally was serious? For once in his life, Wally West was being serious. "O-ok."

"So you wouldn't freak out if I kissed you?" That was a stupid question. Of course he wouldn't! He liked Wally--he suggested that they be a couple.

Dick shook his head slowly, waiting for a reaction from Wally. The speedster seemed to be examining his face, like he was looking for some sort of clue as to if it was really ok to kiss his best friend. With a frightened gulp, he leaned forward at a snail's pace (something that took tremendous effort from a speedster) to give Dick ample time to push him away. When he didn't do that, Wally closed his eyes and hoped for the best. After a few agonizingly long seconds, Dick surged toward Wally and pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to his lips. That wasn't nearly enough for Wally; now feeling more confident, he moved his hand to nape of Dick's neck and pulled him in. Teeth clashed and noses bumped together, but neither of them seemed to care, being too wrapped up in each other to notice. They did eventually find a rhythm that worked, and when they finally pulled apart, their lips were swollen and their breathing uneven.

"Artemis is going to give us hell for this," Wally laughed, breathless and tired.

"She'll be happy, but she'll tease us. In my defense, I thought that my feelings were ciprocated," Dick said.

"How do you come up with this stuff?" Wally asked. He thought that Dick's struggle with English was somewhat endearing, not that Dick needed to know that.

"if reciprocate means that feelings are returned, then ciprocate means they aren't. It's not that hard to understand."

"Whatever, dude. Just go to sleep. You're making my brain hurt."

* * *

When Artemis walked into the kitchen to find Kid Flash pressing Robin against the counter, lips locked, she screamed on the inside. She was internally fangirling and jumping up and down, squealing out barely intelligible 'I told you so's, but on the outside, she smiled to herself and walked back to her room. It was just a few seconds later that she heard an excited squeak that could only be M'gann, and a sputtering Wally trying to ask her not to tell Artemis. Ha. It was a little late for that, Kid Idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> I will love anyone who can tell me where the full homo thing comes from ("@LeoDicaprio is hot as fuck. Full homo.") because that's one of my favorite quotes by the person who said it. Also I kinda used it to flirt with this one girl one time (I kept saying I loved her and (even though she was a lesbian) she always thought I meant as a friend and I was like 'dude, I love you. Full homo').


End file.
